The Simple Things

I GIVE UP!

2010-02-14T21:54:00.001-08:00

My two little ones were in the playroom today after they were charged with the task of cleaning it up. They do know how to destroy a room in a matter of minutes and after a week of several snow days, it was a disaster! I was in the middle of my Scripture meditation for the day and prayer time -- and I heard "I Can't Do this"! followed by a tearful little boy running to my lap, obviously overwhelmed by the daunting task that lay ahead of him and he looks at me and says "Mommy I Give Up"!

Have you ever had a day like that? A week like that? A year like that? Well, I am in the middle of a life like that it seems today -- and I want to run as far and as fast as I can in the other direction in which the Lord is asking me to go. Overwhelmed by the life of being an understanding and encouraging wife, the life of being a present and loving mother, the life of being the ever faithful pastor, and the life of being the obedient follower of Jesus. It is daunting at times. Tiring. Draining and frankly overwhelming when I look at the mess of it all. And my personality weakness is to run and give up. I want to run to the top of the highest mountain and yell -- I GIVE UP!

If you know me, you know that I trust and respect the Lord and his direction for my life. I do. And it is in these moments of life that it seems that people around you either don't know what to say to help so don't say anything which leaves a lonely feeling deep in your heart for true community-- and then there are the irritations of those who don't really know the scriptures using it to preach at you -- and those who use the cliche's and tend to then get it wrong in the process.

It is moments like these, in the quiet of the night, in the deepest part of your being that you discover how strong or weak your love for Christ really is. My son, could have just chosen to let his sister do all the work (not that she would have let him get away with it!). He could have chosen to ignore the task and play -- Mommy was busy with other things and not really watching him. He could have gotten mad, stormed out of the room and refused the task, make life for the family difficult and stay in time out or do push ups -- as our discipline tactics are in place. But he didn't. Feeling the weight of his responsibility to obey with his strong desire to please his mommy, he made a choice to follow through -- at 5 years old, made the conscious choice to try the task at hand. To me, his mother, that is love. That is deep commitment. (You should have seen the room!). And knowing that it was a task beyond his little ability to do himself, ran...not the other direction...but right into my arms and cried...I give up! To which I gladly comforted him and directed him through the task --- with a result of a very confident and proud little boy at his, his sister's and his mommy's accomplishment -- one very clean play room.

This is where i am today... at the cross roads.... to which direction do I run? Life is full of these moments. Right now, I lay my confidence in Christ, who knows my desire to please Him. Who knows the weight of the responsibility of being an understanding and encouraging wife, a present and loving mother, a faithful pastor who loves her church and a little girl in the arms of her father...giving up control...asking for help...as only He can give.

My prayer for you, is that you too find this peace in giving it up. For truth is, He doesn't want us to go about this life of ours without Him by our side, giving direction and helping us all the way. He will never leave us or forsake us....will be with us to the ends of the earth. Now, that is one heck of a valentines day present.

Divine Disorientations

2009-04-30T07:09:00.000-07:00

I often wake up early when Eric decides in his old age now, that he needs to get up before the rooster crows. As I watch him get up -- stumble across the obstacle course of a room, trip over the toys on the floor, weave around the huge bed in a small room, and wobble down the stairs without falling--it so amuses me and makes me giggle thus starting my day with a smile. His disorientation is really funny to watch... Such a giant of a man, strong and secure in himself and his relationships with us and His Lord --yet, as he wakes and tries to set his course for the day --he is a weak and wobbly boy.

We too are like this...not only in the morning, but throughout life. We can get sleepy and fall off course -- and when we do, we become disoriented and have to again wobble around trying to find our way. It is good to know that our Lord knows the direction we are headed -- and throws obstacles in our path to disorient us and move us to the direction He is wishing us to go. Mark Batterson in his book The Wild Goose Chase, talks to this very issue. He says, "God is far more concerned about your future than you are....Not only does God want us to get where God wants us to go more than we want to get where God wants us to go, but He is awfully good at getting us there....God is in the business of positioning us in the right place at the right time."pp128-129

While it is not as fun as experiencing the wobbly disorientation yourself as it is watching others -- (my little demented humor I guess). It is good to know that we can always find a place of rest, comfort and steady ground in conversation with our Lord and His word. IF you need a steady place to land for a while today, try Acts. chapters 25-28 can help. Paul's' divine disorientations and detours always led to Conversions and Healing. :)

Have a wonderful day...we will be wobbling around mud puddles today -- occasionally enjoying a good jump in one! What fun!

News spreads fast #3

2009-04-29T16:02:00.000-07:00

An older article on positive gossip....now called BUZZ.... thought it was relevant. ;0
Enjoy!

By Tim Stevens, executive pastor of Granger Community Church in Granger, Indiana.
2007

What's Buzz?
We live in a world of buzz. Perhaps you've seen the Yahoo! Buzz Index—a daily log of what people are searching for on the Internet, or maybe you've participated in an online forum because you bought a new digital camera and wanted to find out more about it. Buzz is what happens when you blog about your recent experience at a Honda dealership. Buzz is what happens when the message isn't approved by your board or your marketing department or your publications team. Buzz is what happens when normal people talk to others about you, about your product, about what you're doing.

Mark Hughes is the author of Buzz Marketing (Portfolio, 2005). In that book, he lists six things that people talk about: the unusual, the outrageous, the taboo, the hilarious, the remarkable, and the secretive. Those are the things that get us buzzing. Good buzz, Hughes says, is rooted in emotion, in subjects that make us surprised or thrilled, and in things that make us gasp and say, You would never believe this; you wouldn't believe what happened.
Those are the kinds of things we buzz about.

In his book Good to Great (Collins, 2001), Jim Collins says a transformation happens as you push a giant, heavy flywheel in one direction. It takes a lot of energy to get a flywheel moving, but with a consistent effort, the wheel turns two times, then five, then ten, building increasing momentum until … Bang! The wheel hits the breakthrough point and momentum kicks in its favor. Well this happens in churches too. And with some work, our churches can get the buzz flywheel working.

I believe there are three ingredients to generating buzz: beliefs, impact, and language.1. Beliefs
Emanuel Rosen, author of The Anatomy of Buzz (Currency, 2002), says that buzz is more popular now than ever for three reasons: (1) There is so much noise in the advertising world, people have filtered out corporations and their advertisements; (2) People don't trust large organizations, so they refuse to look to them for information; and (3) People are connected—they don't need companies, churches, or other organizations; they can get all the information they need from each other on the Internet. Holding these three beliefs about people is the first step toward understanding and creating buzz.

Another factor—and the motivation behind generating buzz—is your beliefs about people. And these you just can't fake. You need to believe at your core that people matter to God, that it is important for people to meet God and to come into relationship with him. We don't want to generate buzz so that people will look at us and say, Man, you're really innovative. You're really cool. You're really creative. God is the only one who is worthy of buzz. We don't want the attention of the community unless we're confident that it's going to point people toward God.
Beliefs about people only get us so far; we need to learn what makes buzz happen—so that our churches can generate their own buzz.

2. Impact
The second ingredient to buzz—after holding the right beliefs about people—is that it only happens if you're having an impact. I'm convinced that most churches don't create buzz today, or can't sustain buzz, because they have very little impact. To have an impact is to have an immediate and strong effect on something or somebody. And every year there are events that happen locally, nationally, and globally that have a huge impact.
But where is the impact of the church as a whole, or of your church in particular? Would anyone notice if your church stopped meeting? I don't mean the 200 or 800 or 8,000 that go to your church. I'm sure they would feel the impact. But the people that drive by, the people in the community—would they feel a difference? Making an impact produces buzz, but your community can only feel your impact if you're speaking the right language. (Related Video: Making an impact as a church)

3. Language
A lot of people are tired of hearing this, but it's the third ingredient in creating buzz. We need to speak the right language. This means more than toning down the religious jargon we use, adding drama, and incorporating contemporary worship. In fact, it's possible to have great drama and video and contemporary music and still be producing a service that the unchurched can't even understand—it makes no sense to them. In order to speak the right language and reach more people, many churches need an entirely different filter.
Filters are important. They are the means by which we understand the messages that are sent to us. We all have multiple filters that are in place. Many people have family filters, and can't think about family issues without recollecting the brokenness of their childhood home. Others have consumer filters; they have strong feelings about certain products and the people who use them. Some people think that the church is all about getting people's money, and they use that filter to judge pastors and churches.
There is a filter we hardly ever talk about. It affects the language that we use to have an impact. It's a filter that is very strong in today's society. In fact, I think this filter has an impact on our entire culture, and no matter where your church is located in the United States or in Canada this filter impacts you. This filter is called pop culture.
Churches need to be able to speak in the language of pop culture and communicate the Bible in and with this strange new culture. In a sense, we need to become cross-cultural missionaries. Like missionaries, we must dwell in the culture and use the language, the signs, and the symbols of that culture to reach people. Rather than embracing pop culture, this means we must leverage it. (Related Video: Church attitudes toward pop culture)
This is important because speaking someone's language is the first step toward gaining a hearing from them.

Remind Me Why We're Doing This
To get the buzz flywheel turning will take a lot of effort, especially if you need to make significant changes before you can get started. But if you have the right beliefs about people and you use the right language, your church will begin to make a community-wide impact. Once you're there, the buzz flywheel kicks in, building its own momentum.
Of course, the buzz can be sustained only if your church is doing that to which it has been called: working to change lives. That's what it's all about, and we must never lose sight of our task: effective ministry, introducing people to Christ, helping men and women take steps toward him.

News spreads fast #2

2009-04-29T12:03:00.000-07:00

I recently shared a blog post by Seth Godin that I liked with the leadership team I am a part of at my church. We all agreed with it's principle and I think it relates to any sharing of information good or bad and thought you might find it interesting too. Especially when trying to share the great news of the Gospel....

First, ten

"This, in two words, is the secret of the new marketing. Find ten people. Ten people who trust you/respect you/need you/listen to you...Those ten people need what you have to sell, or want it. And if they love it, you win. If they love it, they'll each find you ten more people (or a hundred or a thousand or, perhaps, just three). Repeat. If they don't love it, you need a new product. Start over. Your idea spreads. Your business grows. Not as fast as you want, but faster than you could ever imagine.This approach changes the posture and timing of everything you do.You can no longer market to the anonymous masses. They're not anonymous and they're not masses. You can only market to people who are willing participants. Like this group of ten.The timing means that the idea of a 'launch' and press releases and the big unveiling is nuts. Instead, plan on the gradual build that turns into a tidal wave. Organize for it and spend money appropriately. The fact is, the curve of money spent (big hump, then it tails off) is precisely backwards to what you actually need.Three years from now, this advice will be so common as to be boring. Today, it's almost certainly the opposite of what you're doing."

MY THOUGHTS: Word of mouth is contagious --- We each have a circle of influence -- probably 10 or more people we talk with on a weekly basis. Let's get excited about something great going on in our churches and spread the vision of what the Lord is doing there! Maybe that can be caught and spread faster ---and stop the negative talk that seems to penetrate our conversations (and consequently, all that the world outside the church hears about).

love you all!
Amanda

News spreads fast...#1

2009-04-29T11:34:00.000-07:00

I am always amazed when a person has told me some tid-bit of news and that famous "EVERYONE thinks this is negative" comment comes up- usually in conjunction with a person who is not doing something to their liking. Who is everyone anyway, and since when does everyone mean just two or three people...and why do the 'tellers of news" want to keep their sources of information a secret to "protect their privacy"? That is just Bologna!

Fact: When information is dispensed...someone will always misunderstand it.
Fact: The misunderstood information ALWAYS spreads faster than the actual truth.

Why?

Why is it that we as a human race are more apt to spread negative information than positive? Why does it take extra effort to encourage rather than discourage?
Why do leaders seem to have to encourage others to encourage others?

Our mission as a relational people:
Love one another, as Christ loved you.
Love your neighbor as yourself.

If we are doing this...then encouragement should be passed faster than negative false gossip. Who wants to hang with those who complain about everything anyway? That is just no fun.

If you can't say anything nice... ah, you know the rest.

Amanda

Random conversations with Jesus

2009-04-27T12:24:00.000-07:00

I have been spending quite a bit of time in my car lately -- which has allowed even more extra time to spend in conversation with Jesus. His words of encouragement lately have been an amazing gift -- although simple messages, for a brain that works like mine -- it seems Jesus tends to remind me of these most often.

1. No matter where you go, I am there with you. You are never alone while working for me.

2. If I am for you, who can be against you? I am greater than any trouble, or strife you could even think up in your over-analyzing brain! And...don't try, you will never be able to logically out-think me.

3. If you really mess up and make some mistakes today, I will still love you as much as I love you right now.

4. Be yourself -- only when you are honest and transparent among friends, can I minister to them through you...

5. Always be alert, ready and able to speak about the Love I have placed in your heart -- and you can make a difference in a life... --

6. I am in control -- not you. Quit trying to run things that are not able to be ran by human hands. A life of Peace is only found in giving control every day--

7. You may have to reach out first...others are not always interested in friendships with those close to me...you can intimidate them. Be gentle, and loving and ask questions about them.

My God is bigger

2009-04-16T09:17:00.000-07:00

In the last several months, my kids have been playing a bit of a learning game with us. Usually, as we drive in the car, the kids try to think of the biggest, oldest or strongest thing they can imagine and ask us if God is bigger. It goes something like this:

Child - "Mommy, is God bigger than the ocean?"
Mommy - "God is indeed bigger than the ocean...he made the ocean."
Child - Mommy, is God stronger than superman?
Mommy - God is even stronger than superman.
Child - Is God older than Daddy?
Mommy - God is even older than Daddy, He always has been and always will be.

Then one time I heard and answered the next question -- and had to chuckle at their reaction.

Child - Is God even older than Pappy?
Mommy - God is older than pappy, He always has been and always will be.
Child -- WOOOOWWWW, That is OLD!

(poor pappy, he didn't think it was so funny we told him.)

The faith of my children through their perspective always amazes me. But the simple truth is that the Lord is larger than life itself. He is hard for us to even put in perspective through our intellectual brains, hard to rely on all that He is capable of providing and hard to fit all of his love into our small and inadequate hearts. If we had a God that we could completely understand and completely explain, I am not sure I would follow him... We are so limited in our view of how Awesome and Capable our Lord really is, that we even now still have trouble placing all of our lives, all that we love and hold dear, into his Hands to control.

My prayer today, is that my friends and family will experience the Grace that sets them free, His love that holds no conditions and His Amazing adventure He has called us to embrace.

love ya!
Amanda

The Ultimate Healer

2009-03-05T22:58:00.000-08:00

What an amazing God we serve! It has been a long time since I have posted, due to the fact that I have been quite ill recently with what was thought as Fibro Myalgia as I was diagnosed a year ago next month. HOWEVER!!!! I love saying that....

Since a lot of people have been asking about what is going on, why i have spurts off of facebook and not been writing on my blog, I thought i would start at the beginning and inform everyone at the same time of what is going on and my update as of today!

This all began with sudden pain in my lower back and abdomen area that seemed to hop and skip to different spots around my stomach and bowls about two years ago. I have earlier in life been diagnosed with an irritable bowl condition that acts up during stressful times. I first went to see my new family doctor, who took me off all medications that I was currently taking to see if it was the meds that were the problem. Without my dosage of meds that I normally took, I took a turn for the worse, and became very tired, and unable to communicate effectively as well as sunk into a bit of a depression caused by the pain. My family doctor finally put me on the dosages that I began with, and due to the fact that my sed rates were extremely high and I had gained 30+ pounds in two months, he sent me to an endocrinologist Once seeing the endocronologist and finding nothing there, I was sent to a rheumatologist, again because of my sed rates being so high as an indicator of infection or inflammation. My rheumatologist began a medication regiment to help ease the pain and help me lead a more normal life. As the pain medications began to work, and I felt quite a bit better, he then diagnosed me with stress induced Fibro Myalgia - a condition that effects the muscle and tendon connections causing pain. No one knows why anyone gets this, and there is no cure. So, you are on medication for the rest of your life.

Last month I was experiencing more pain than normal in my abdomen and although I am on medication (high doses of vicatin in fact), nothing seemed to take care of all of the pain. For three days I was down, and only was able to get through it during sleep with the help of my muscle relaxers. After three days of this, I decided this wasn't the normal fibro myalgia acting up, but had to be something wrong. After calling the rhumetologist and was told to go to my family doctor for an ultra sound, I went to see our family doctor and was given an ultra sound and a upper GI test. The ultra sound verified that my gallbladder had VERY large stones at the neck and my doctor said that it would probably be the cause of my pain and should come out as soon as possible. After seeing a surgical consult and being told that if I were to go through with the surgery that I would have a 70 percent chance of complete healing of all pain, we decided to go for it! My doctor also stated that he was not arrogant enough to say that the diagnosis of fybro myalgia could be pre-mature, but that it is definitely possible that this surgery could cure all of the current pain.

I was scheduled for surgery and it went very well. I had made it and I wasn't nervous until the Dr. started my first iv. I had told him I was a little nervous, he smiled and said it will be OK, and that is the last thing I remember until I woke up in recovery telling the nurse that I was concerned she was having a bad day because she wasn't smiling very much. :) she perked up after that and told me it was her third 12 in a row, and just needed a day off...so pray for her if you can remember.

My surgeon was great...and said that despite what the test results were, I DID have imflamation of the gallbladder and that we were wise to get it out when we did. He also said that my stone was so large that he had to cut a larger incision to actually get it out through my belly button! Every thing else looked good, expect he could confirm for me that I might still have a bit of irritable bowel syndrome, but nothing that couldn't be controlled with diet and meds.

I am doing well recovering at home---AND HAVE NO PAIN THAT I HAD HAD BEFORE! PRAISE GOD! However, due to the fact I have been on heavy doses narcotics for the last 18 months for pain, I am in a 5-7 (day 5 is today) day rough detox period -cold turkey- to get my body used to not taking them any longer. Then will be in a easier detox for about a month to rid my body of everything. It sounds weird to me and almost unbelievable that I have to detox and go through withdrawal from the pain meds..., but I have NO pain and it seems that the surgery has been successful in getting rid of every problem thus far -- except for this recovery period to get off the pain medication safely. There are some minor side effects (shakes, chills, trouble sleeping and some unmentionables that I wont share) --- BUT, once this period is finished we are confident that I should be back to normal (whatever that is) and doing really well.

Day 5 today - I have had a wonderful day and spring cleaned 3 rooms in my house with two preschoolers and a big baby puppy running everywhere! Took it easy this evening but feel great. I really can't believe or begin to explain the difference--and that is WITH the side effects from the withdrawal! God is truly amazing!

This for me is a huge answer to prayer. Some at the beginning of this process thought it was all in my head and called me(and still think) I am mentally ill -- (hahahaha) however, I know different - and now the doctors have found proof of that fact! I praise my Lord for how he works to heal and make us completely whole - even with missing body parts!!!

Thanks to all of you who have supported me in this process and journey to this point. I am excited to get back to real life living and writing more on my blog!

Welcome to 2009

2009-01-01T16:15:00.000-08:00

We rang in the new year at the Durbin family by putting the kids to bed at 9pm, and watching House episodes online until midnight. I believe Eric rolled over (had been asleep and snoring) kissed me and said, "happy new year baby"--then rolled back over and went back to sleep!! We are definitely the lively bunch eh?! Party like its 2009! Ah, Prince...(formally known as, the sign we couldn't ever explain...) we miss the 80's!

As I reflect on the year, and how life has evolved in the Durbin family -- All I can say really is, "Praise God, we are loved." We have been through several transitions these last couple of years, and we have found that our true friends still love and care for us. They still pray with us, they still cry with us and they share our joys with us. True friends are rare in ministry -- but, I can honestly say, we have some of the best people, with the largest hearts for our friends. You all know who you are -- and I say Thank you.

My goals this year are purely relational in context. They are interpersonal in perspective. I have in many years past been a friend to many -- usually with an agenda. Not a bad agenda...one with a kingdom goal in mind usually...(can't say always), but with expectations. One could argue reasonably that they were "results oriented friendships". This is probably one of the hazards of ministry leadership. The "if you...then I will" not unconditional but conditional love. I am not convinced that this is true friendship. Now, I did love all of them. Cared for all of them and they usually knew it -- but they also knew I had expectations, and high ones at that - and some often felt that they wouldn't ever measure up. Thus, this year my goals are not numerical, can't really be measured by any metrical system or quantitative means...but purely in meaningful blessings that probably won't be noticed by me until I reach heaven - and my Lord looks in my eyes and says "well done, my good and faithful servant." -- So what are they??? Let's list them...(I LOVE Lists!)

1. Reach out to people I do not know in a meaningful way. At least one a week. (oops..numerical..can't seem to get away from measurable goals! ugh!)

2. Deepen and enrich the new relationships I currently have in my life.

3. Communicate love and genuine concern for friends I have had throughout my life.

4. Love my family (ugh, all of them) and communicate this in an effective way.

5. Hug and kiss my kids every day and tell them I love them.

6. Communicate affectionately, in my husband's love language, how much I am in love with him and how that love grows each passing minute by showing him how much I respect his leadership, his Daddy's heart and his ability to provide for our family through his passions and spiritual giftings.

OK -- now they are in print. Accountability begins. I will update you on how things are going...you as my readers and followers are probably my friends as well -- so, you are my best audience and accountability! I love and care for you! (oops...the agenda again...not bribing you to say I am doing well!!!!! I promise!)

I hope you enjoy reading. I love writing!

Christmas Wishes

2008-12-23T10:48:00.000-08:00

I have not yet had a minute to sit and think this year regarding what my Christmas wish might be this year...My prayer for my family and friends. So, as I sit here (freezing in my drafty house whose water pipes freeze if we don't open our drafty cabinetry), I will download a few pictures of the kids that I have taken thus far --and think of what we as a family truly wish for you this year.

OK..I remember one Christmas about 5 or 6 years ago, Eric and I were at his dad's home getting ready for yet another Christmas celebration. The question was asked, before gift giving time, what would one thing could the family pray that the Lord would provide for you by the next Christmas -- I remember thinking.."great question.." Eric and I had just lost a baby due to a miscarriage and had desperately been wanting to begin a family for the five years up to this point in our marriage without success. So, with tears mixed with hope, Eric and I asked the family to pray for a little miracle -- a baby. In March or April of that year, we were able to announce that the Lord had prove faithful and provided another baby. At Christmas that next year, Mackenzie was two months old as we were able to introduce her to the family. I remember many tears of joy by my sister-in-laws and mother in law, as we carried the baby to the house. My wish for you as you contemplate your new year and Christmas wishes, is that you too will be bless with answered prayer. We now have two miracles...Mackenzie and Cooper (that is another story for another blog)! The Lord continues to prove to be faithful, and is our great provider, shepherd and healer of every wound. May He be ever close to you and yours this Christmas and this coming year. Enjoy the pictures of our miracles!

Gifts of the Magi

2008-12-19T08:15:00.000-08:00

For Christmas, Eric and I have a tradition we began three years ago with our children. This year that they are now old enough to actually begin to understand the meanings behind our gift giving, we have begun to explain why we have our tradition. It is simple. To avoid the delima every year on how much to give our children with each year trying to compete with the last Eric and I decided to seek the Bible for words of wisdom. In looking at the the Matthew account of Jesus' birth -- we see that the Magi have been searching for Him.

I read an wonderful account of the Magi and explanation of their gifts online the other day, Let me share it with you.

"Undaunted, those magi believed the Scriptures. They had traveled several hundred miles to worship Jesus. They had been guided by God’s Shekinah light (the star that moved), and by His Scriptures—to find baby Jesus in Bethlehem. The Wisemen may have been part of the men instructed by Daniel the prophet about the coming Messiah. So when at last they saw the child, they fell down and worshiped Him. He was God in the flesh. Worship was all they could do.
In their worship they gave Him gifts--gold, frankincense, and myrrh. These were unusual presents--by any standards. The gold, of course, we all can understand--but the frankincense and myrrh are not normal gifts. We can surmise that these Wisemen had also been exposed to Isaiah's prophecy which foretold that "nations will come to your light, and kings to your rising . . . They will bring gold and frankincense, and will bear good news. . . ." (Isaiah 60:3, 6) Knowing of that Scripture could explain the first two gifts and their worship--but not the myrrh.
In the world of the Bible, myrrh was a perfume, like frankincense. But unlike frankincense, myrrh always seemed to smell like death. It was the embalmers choice for preparing a corpse for burial. Jesus himself would be embalmed with this very perfume in John 19:39. Could the magi be thinking of Jesus' death when they brought the myrrh? Yes, it is very likely that the great and revered Daniel of Babylon had taught his prophecy of Christ's coming to the forefathers of these magi (Wisemen). Over the centuries the truths of Daniel's prophecy (9:24-27) were read and passed down, that the "Messiah will be cut off" and this "will make atonement for iniquity" and ultimately "bring in everlasting righteousness." So this may be how God led those Wisemen to bring that third gift. Amazingly, even at Christ's birth, the shadow of the cross is already falling over His life.

This reminds me of a famous painting by the artist Holman Hunt—showing how Jesus came into the world to die. In this painting called The Shadow of Death.
I love this painting because it shows the whole of Jesus’s life in one image – his birth, his life and his death.

"The scene shows Jesus and his mother Mary in his father’s carpenters’ shop. We see Mary searching through the trunk for something amongst the gifts from the Three Kings, we see Jesus, as a young man, stretching his arms after using the saw in the foreground and in the background, we see the shadow cast by Jesus on the wall foretelling his crucifixion.
"We do not see Mary’s face but can imagine her fear, as she sees the shadow on the wall. The painting is unusual, as it shows Jesus as a working man in an ordinary setting. It shows the love between a mother and her child, which again is universal."

Back to our family tradition: knowing that our Lord received three gifts at his birthday celebration, we realized those three gifts would be perfect to receive for our children as well. No, not the actual Gold, frankincense, and myrrh - but gifts that would represent each of those in our child' s life. For the Gold gift, we give our kids an extravagant gift that they have wanted for some time. Something that we wouldn't normally be able to purchase or make for them during the rest of the year. For this Christmas, Mackenzie has been asking for the Rose Petal Cottage for at least 6 months, so we saved and was able to purchase this for her ---(shhhh..it is still a secret). For Cooper this year, he has been wanting a battery operated motorcycle that he can ride on -- now this is still too extravagant for our budget -- so we had him talked down to a new bike--a new Spiderman bike to be exact! For the Frankincense gift, we purchase a gift that represents their spiritual or natural gifts given to them for Jesus --something we can help promote in their character and help others sense the frangrance of Christ in them. For Mackenzie, she has shown a nurturing/mothering/hospitality side in the last several years --so we were able to get her the nursery (cradle and changing table) for her new rose petal cottage. For Cooper, he has been developing his love for music this year, so we decided to get him his favorite singer's new CD (Toby Mack's "I don't wanna loose my soul") and a durable CD player/karaoke machine. Then, lastly, we turn to the Myrrh gift. Eric and I then purchase gifts for them that are on the practical side, as the Myrrh was used for practical and medicinal purposes. This year, Mackenzie has developed a huge love for arts and crafts and so mommy has depleted her supply at the house --thus we need to get her more arts and crafts supplies -- we will put in a large tub for her quite a few items that will help her do her art as well as an easel for a stationary place to complete it on. For Cooper, we have purchased a basketball goal (and Nerf ball) for in the house to let him get his exercise without making mommy stay out in the cold all day!

Thus, the three gifts for our children - and not going overboard on the budget! I will say that Santa does bring one smaller gift that they will love -- but it is not bigger or more significant that the Gold gift, frankincense gift or the Myrrh gift. Mackenzie will have a stocking this year with a new ornament, small art stuffs, toothbrush, toothpaste and a my little pony plush she wanted. --Cooper will be getting in his stocking a new ornament, guitar pics and strings for his guitar, toothbrush, toothpaste and a small electric drum pad that he asked Santa to bring.

I hope this wasn't too much info for you -- but just wanted so share our family tradition of celebrating the birth of our Lord --and how we keep from getting wrapped up in the material shopping craze and keep our focus on Jesus--especially during the financial delima our country is facing. I trust that you will have a Very Merry Christmas!

Answered Prayer

2008-12-18T13:29:00.000-08:00

From the time Eric and I moved back to the States from Canada, we became fully aware of how Eric's brother's health had become to deteriorate even faster than before. With every visit, we have seen him continue to struggle with his balance, speech and thinking. With these difficulties, Bruce has been unable to care for even the basic maintaining of his home. The worst of all rooms in need of desperate repair was the bathroom. It was unlivable. My daughter, Mackenzie, in our visits to Uncle Bruce, would refuse to use the restroom until we left and returned home. It was falling apart, dirty and should have been condemned. Just to help you with the image, here are a few photos.

UNLIVABLE BATHROOM

Yes, his walls were wet and molded and falling into his bathtub-- where he was still showering. His floor was very old and dirty from years of backup. And the walls around the room were all caving in. He also had a large mirror that could have been very dangerous if he had fallen. The size of the tub, entering and exiting also was a large issue. He is unable to lift his leg up and still balance that far off the ground, and thus he fell several times. If he would have ever fallen into the glass -- we hate to even think of what could have happened. Being on disability, Bruce had a limited income, and the family had done all it could do to help him stay in his home, keep him fed and clothed let alone help with with minor repairs to his house. However, none of us could help with the large expense of a bathroom remodel. Thus the praying began. Eric and I continued to pray for an answer to this delima for several months. Upon moving to the Winchester area, now 8 minutes from Bruce rather than the 30, we were able to assess the situation even more closely. Then the Lord asked me to begin to contact local resources for assistance. Upon doing this, those that I contacted either failed to respond or took several months to even acknowledge my emails. Thus, I began to just "vent" some of my frustrations to a few close friends and asked them to begin to pray with us.

To make a very long story short -- our answer to prayer came when one of our friends told us that he had contacted his church pastor, showed him these photos ---and the church wanted to give Bruce a new bathroom for Christmas! The Lord indeed still does miracles today, and He used these very caring, loving and hard working men and women to carry out his miracle! In a very short time of two weeks, from beginning to end, with actual four days of work -- a new bathroom was constructed! Take a look at the bathroom now!

BATHROOM RENOVATION

During this Christmas season, I know one thing for Sure. I serve a risen Savior who is still in the business of accomplishing miracles. I would like to thank all of those who had a hand in this project (you know who you are) but most of them wanted me not to mention their names. I thank God for His body of believers who accept His challenge daily ---"as you do unto the least of these, you do unto me". Thank you God for your gift of Jesus and His body, the church, this Christmas season!

Perfect Plans

2008-12-13T02:19:00.000-08:00

David, I am a fairly young mom -- and am still struggling to figure out this thing called life in God's family --- so, forgive me if I sound too preachy or heretical myself!

As a young mom, with a type A personality, plans are something I think about often ---and find that more times than not, my plan isn't really the plan...but a partial part of the ultimate plan of the day. No matter how messed up my check list gets with marks or erase scratches, at the end of the day I can look back and see how everything had a special place in fulfilling the overall goals of loving and caring for my children. (already you know what I want to say)....

I am not sure that everything that happens in our lives -- the details and situations that we worry ourselves over -- even the horrible of the horrible large scale decisions that us free willed people have encountered -- are ever part of God's plan for his children. His plan was for the children to live in the garden of Eden and enjoy the loving relationship He has so freely given us ---and now, due to our disobedience, to restore that right relationship. Just as Cooper falling off his bike and hitting his head on the pavement after mommy told him (over and over) to wear his helmet...his decision to refuse my promptings lead to a large and painful bump on his sweet little head. I am ultimately sad for him, but love him just the same and our relationship is restored upon learning mommy indeed knows best. I am not trying to trivialize the Holocaust or large scale attack on innocent people or even the sadness of loss and disease, but what I am getting at is that at the end of the day, the Lord's plan is still always accomplished. His children are blessed and His name is glorified. His children are loved and cared for. Their scares are soothed by the sweet whispers of his love and grace. They remember that the Lord is Lord and knows best --and place thier trust in Him once again. Their fears are conquered through the hope of heaven. And best of all, His presence is even closer than the day before. Is this heretical?? I am not sure...but it gets me through the bumps and bruises of my messy life -- I only wish that we (as a human race) would trust Him more and obey his promtings every time, we would then truly be in a better world.

I am interested in what you think! Thank you for following, and I enjoy your writing too. Mark and Darcy Dill forwarded me some of your book -- I have enjoyed what I have read thus far (have a lot of questions regarding it some of it) and looking forward to the middle and ending!

Understanding

2008-11-29T18:53:00.000-08:00

I just finished a book that I wish I would have renewed from the library - and re-read. It wasn't a GREAT book in a sense that it was "the most amazing piece of work that I have ever read" -- but it was a great work in that it reminded me of a truth that I believe the Lord needed to really make me understand. I am not sure if you are like me in my thinking...the always analyzing situations, trying to "figure the Lord out", or "why" a situation is turning the way it is or isn't. I also don't know if you are like me and think - "Boy, if I were God, it would look totally different". Praise the Lord that Amanda is not God - what an arrogant thought that is anyway! The world would be in a BIGGER mess than it the state it is currently in, and boy -- it needs more help than I can give it! That's me, the Savior of the world...the "fix it now", the I can do it by myself, full of pride -- human, girl that I am. UGH.

Anyway - back to the reminder -- You will have to forgive me, for I do not have the book in front of me, nor do I remember ALL the details, but I will give you a paraphrase of what I took from it.

In the fictional story, a Polish man who spent several years in the Nazi prison camps, was explaining to a woman why it was that he wasn't bitter and angry at God, and still in fact promoted Him. He answered by telling a story that a rabbi in the camp told him at his moment in questioning God. Some time ago, there is a legend of a rabbi in Poland who .... (OK...I know what you are thinking...no it isn't a joke!! Place your mind back on the truth of the moment please!) This rabbi in Poland took a class of students one day to a hill that overlooked the entire city to teach the lessons of the day. While they were away, the enemy came in and destroyed the entire city and those that lived in it. As the students and the rabbi watched in horror, the rabbi just lowered his head and whispered..."Oh, if only I were God." To which a student replied, "teacher? If you were God, what would you do differently?" The rabbi, with tears in his eyes, looked at the student and then back at the city and slowly stated, "If I were God, I would not do anything differently -- I'd understand."

My reminder. Who knows the mind of God or can fathom His ways?? Who can understand his wisdom, or His ultimate timing? I understand why Solomon asked for Wisdom. I understand now why it is the Christian life can be hard to understand from a distance. If one doesn't truly know Christ, and I mean TRULY know him..love him, and trust him.... with everything that they are -- this world can seem upside down. UH, to the christian, it seems upside down at times. The only difference is, we know Jesus - we know He has an ultimate plan - that we are privileged to play a part in -- an irreplaceable role, that no one else on earth can accomplish in that plan. And how we carry out that role -- is the incredible miracle -- for we have a free will in which we can choose to listen to his calling -- or not. And still, if we truly know him and miss his voice -- he still works to our Good because we love him! What a gift. During this Thanksgiving weekend, the Lord has reminded me once again -- that he is God and I am not. That despite my attempts to try to control the situations around me, and my attempt to understand his ultimate plans for my and my children's future... That he alone holds the plan, and reveals it to me in a manner that I can understand -- piece by piece. How do you eat an elephant??? One bite at a time! He knows that if I see the entire picture, I would be completely overwhelmed, completely terrified and would crawl under my covers to hide -- at least until the pumpkin pie comes out!

Thank the Lord for His gift of grace.
Thank you Lord for your perfect timing.
Thank you Lord, for your gift of peace.
Thank you Lord for being Lord,
Thank you Lord for loving me,
AND thank you Lord, for pumpkin pie!

Cooper "The Tank" Durbin

2008-11-03T18:53:00.000-08:00

Cooper Joseph Durbin

My little superman...ah, I better say spider man (his favorite super hero besides Jesus) or he might beat me up! He is my baby. He is my heart. He is my greatest sense of accomplishment and my greatest joy. He is also destined to play sports. Which one you ask? If it has a ball and you can throw, kick or hit it -- he will play it. And he will be good(and that isn't just a mommy's bias)! A few of his favorites: Baseball, Football and hockey. Not sure how we will swing the hockey now that we are in Indy-- just know he still wants to play it! I think they give a "I love Hockey" shot when the kids are born in Canadian hospitals! Just last Friday at a Halloween carnival, he threw a kid sized football into the center of a hoop -- not only one time, not only the first time....but all five times he picked up the ball -- then he got an audience and got a little stage shy, missing two. He cared not about the candy prizes for the games...just give him the ball! Today, throwing the baseball (soft one) back and forth from about 10 feet apart, I needed to go get a glove! THE BOY IS ONLY 3~! I guess, since his dad broke a lot of the sports records not only here on the state record in several sports, and had ONU's home run record for several years -- he kind of gets it naturally ---and he looks just like his daddy too! But who is bragging?? He looks small - but he is solid -- and weighs almost as much as his sister! Thus the "tank" nickname! They no longer wrestle due to the fact that Cooper can now whip Mackenzie's bum! She hates to loose. (She gets that naturally too!) Pray for him, Indiana allergies are not doing him any good this week. Despite the Zyrtec everyday, he has had a runny nose, sore throat and has gotten tired more easily. His tonsils are the size of baseballs, so he will need those out after he turns 5, and that doesn't help the allergy symptoms. But, he is blessed and we are blessed to have him. He loves to sing...and my favorite thing about him, is that he loves to worship! He will sing worship songs anywhere -- AND we always know when he is in the bathroom going "poo" for he will be singing VERY LOUDLY, "I am a friend of God" -- He calls it his "poo poo song"! :) Tonight as he was playing his play keyboard, he was trying to match the pitch with his voice. Someone once told me that they thought the Lord had a special plan for him in "ministry" -- I pray that it is a ministry that pays more than mine does!! -- But more than that, I pray that his talents and gifts of leading people to the throne of Grace will never be hidden! Below are some recent pics of my baby -- who could not love this boy???

(The older girl pictured with Cooper, besides his 5 year old sister Mackenzie, is his cousin Holly)

Enjoy!

"Myth-Busters"

2008-11-02T18:19:00.000-08:00

In the secret life of Amanda Durbin -- there is perception and then there is reality. I am here to expose some myths believed about her - and give you a glimpse of her reality. If you are interested....you may read on.

1. Amanda is as organized in her home life as she is in the project she does for other people. If you believe this, then I have a bridge in Egypt to sell to you. I try to be organized, but with two preschoolers who in just entering a room can destroy all aspects of order and a husband who doesn't understand why we put our socks in the clothes basket rather than the crack of the sofa - and now a puppy who drags it's chew toys out of his "bed" all over the house following the kids -- some days I just give up after 4pm! Everything has a place, but not everything is ever in it -- tonight as I write this, sofa cushions are almost on the floor hanging off the sofa, Eric is itching and smothering himself with itch cream with his "stuff (he tends to nest everywhere he goes)" around him -- and the kids dumped out two plastic drawers of play kitchen stuffs out all over the foyer floor looking for a spatula (last night) and I haven't had time or energy to make them pick it up. This drives me insane...I thank God for Julie's Monday mornings every day!

2. Amanda is "all put together" - NOT! I fall apart every day just looking for a pair of pants that fit my ever growing hips! I am tired, emotional and irritated most of the time -- I just pray and ask the Lord to help me love -- without Him and his strength and grace -- I would be a mess!

3. Amanda is independent, self-motivated and self-reliant. hmmmmn. Co-dependent on my husband, procrastinator and proud to be more exact. All get in the way of making true and lasting friendships. My fear of failure keeps me from believing in myself without pep talks from my husband, keep me from starting projects in advance and then have learned to do my best work in a hurry -- and too proud to ask for help when I need it even from my Jesus! Ouch...how honest is that! Praise God that He already knows this and steps in when ever I need Him! (Now no one will ever ask for my help again eh?!)

OK.... that was hard enough. Don't ask for much more honesty than that tonight! See....FAR from Normal! Normal people are organized, put together, independent, self motivated and self reliant! right??

What a great message I heard this morning in Service. The Lord is good -- He is in control and knows what He is doing -- even when we don't. This week, I am praying that Christ Followers vote with a conviction and a call from our Lord. And pray, that no matter the outcome, that the Lord shows favor on this country we call the land of the free and home of the brave.

2008-11-01T07:27:00.000-07:00

Mackenzie's 5th Birthday Royal Tea Party!

Craft Time!
Princess Mackenzie and Nana Examining the Table...

WOW! A new Puppy Purse!

Our little princesses

Little Mommy

GIFT TIME!
Cake Time!

Our Castle

Tea Time!

The Snake Charmer

Our "play tea set table"

One Happy Birthday Girl!

The Queen Mum's Table

tired expectancy

2008-10-31T20:10:00.000-07:00

I have to be honest and say I have no idea what I should or shouldn't write about tonight! I frankly am tired. I have had a busier than usual week -- one that has been both rewarding and scary all at the same time. The kids have been in a constant fall party mode for the past week and a half and high on sugar from all of the cookies and candy and cupcakes and ....you name it, they have ingested it! AND amidst all of that, I miss my husband. I think we have had maybe ten minutes all week to talk -- and that was mostly done over itching and lathering of anti-itch creams while discussing the possibility of adding a puppy to the household! HOW ROMANTIC is that! This is our life. Jackson, our new addition, is a blond lab mix puppy that has been so much easier to train than I had imagined and is fitting into our crazy household very easily. Spoiled already by not only the kids and Eric but by family friends as well. I am not sure yet that he knows our house is now "his" house! Amidst all of this activity I have this sense of expectancy of what the Lord might bring next into our lives at the rise of the new day. This new town of ours (or mine since Eric actually grew up here and seems to know just about everyone), is full of discoveries and possibilities -- and at every turn of a new day, I see so much that the Lord is blessing my family with. New friends, new opportunities, new eyes to see the lost and broken, new ears to hear the hurts and victories won. And now (thankfully) a larger heart, that is being healed and opened to love people for whose they are and not for who I perceive them to be. The Lord is good, and we are blessed. May you sleep well knowing you are loved and cared for by your creator and lover of your soul. I know I will! :)

Another new "normal"

2008-10-30T17:09:00.000-07:00

Normal. hmmmnn. That is what someone wrote on one of my kids' test scores for a check up once. Normal. If you are like me, Normal just doesn't do it for you anymore. What does normal even mean? Average? Usual? Normal temperatures are not even "normal" for everyone any longer. There is now a normal "range". Our post modern culture seems to be getting away from defining everything as a status-quo or bringing anything into a "melting pot" -- and deciding this is the Norm. Wouldn't you just love to have a name like "Norm" just to announce to everyone by your name tag that you are indeed normal! I can just see it, "Yes, my name is Norm! I am Normal because my name says so!" Who is it today that decides what normal is? Who are these experts that state the average status anyway? No one for sure has asked my opinion or polled my family to help decide what Normal actually looks like in flesh and blood! And if I or anyone I cared about were to be in a Normal "line up" to say this is what normal looks like, I would be appalled! John Ortberg in his book, Everybody's normal until we get to know them, says it best when he states, "Everybody's weird....Because we know in our hearts that this is not the way we're supposed to be, we try and hide our weirdness. Every one of us pretends to be healthier and kinder than we really are; we all engage in what might be called "depravity management". In trying to pretend all of the time and striving to be something that we want people to perceive, we can completely exhaust ourselves! And yet, "the yearning to attach and connect, to love and be loved, is the fiercest longing of the soul" (again John Ortberg).

Dallas Willard once said, the natural condition of life for human beings is reciprocal rootedness in others." ...."To make a start where we are, we must recognize that our world is not normal, but only usual at present."

We need each other. We were made for each other. And don't we all breathe easier when someone else stands up and says, "hey, I really need a REAL friend right now --don't you?" No one wants a normal friend, they want a real one. One that loves us so dearly that they can be honest with themselves in our presence and we can then reciprocate and be honest with them and walk away knowing we were just loved by Jesus at the same time. That is what we all look for. That is what we all desire if we are truly honest with ourselves. I am blessed in that I am finding more of Jesus and his love and grace in others these days. For so long, being too full of fear to show the "real Amanda" and becoming too "perfect"--- striving to be someone or something I was not -- "NORMAL". These days, I now know that my Jesus is the only perfect human being that ever walked the planet. AND, BABY, he was FAR from normal. If He loves me, (and He truly and deeply does) then I know I am unique, special and precious in His sight. If the creator of the universe, the painter of the beautiful canvas of life thinks I am precious -- then who can ever tell me otherwise?? Hi -- My name is no longer Normal. It is beautiful.

Someone once said....

2008-10-26T21:26:00.000-07:00

Just some questions to ponder tonight...
Why is it that the tongue of another person can carry such weight within our hearts? Weather it is an encouraging word that we hear and are lifted to the highest elevated sense of affirmation which we as human beings are so conditioned to listen for; or weather it is a word of criticism either for our good or harm that deflates us and defeats us in an instant. Someone asked me last week, why it was, that what someone once said to me held such importance ---that when Satan whispers it in my ear, all movement (from either forward or back) is halted and fear paralyzes all motivation to continue. My response: A lie from the Pit of Hell itself, was at that moment believed and I reject the truth of the Lover of my Soul.

Why is it so much easier to believe the lie of Satan that deflates and defeats us than to relish the truth and bathe in the goodness of our Savior who created us and knows us intimately? My response? I just know that Satan is the master of deceit and knows how to use our human tendencies to take the focus off of Our Lord and put it on our own interest. What a easy way to fall. We then begin to judge God -- we begin to doubt his love and his holiness and therefore doubt everything. The beginning of destruction of truth to relative truth......??? Only if you think so...or, is it only if I think so???

Why is the last Oreo cookie always stale? My response? what last cook...mmmmm.

Fun Farm day tomorrow -- rain or shine, snow, sleet or wind (weather calls for all three). Two kids, a preschool class and a bunch of cold parents toting around pumpkins. And I can't sleep...again. I can't wait until this medication is finished! My eyes and brain are finished! I wish I could just convince my heart and mind of that! My poor friends have probably had enough of the Durbins on steroids! :)

Random acts of mahem.

2008-10-25T21:49:00.000-07:00

Good evening...uh, morning! It is 12:55am and I have just risen out of bed --- no, strike that-- was kicked out of bed by my son and daughter who think that their mommy's bed (KING SIZE) is large enough to thrash around in. Eric is at work yet again tonight, and so my thoughts have no where to turn but to the blog spot! Lucky you!
I have been trying to determine lately what it is exactly the Lord is wanting to do in my and my family during this stage of our life. However, the more I ponder and try to figure out what it is He is wanting to do, is doing, or will do; I become more and more anxious about what it is I should be doing. We have several great friends that continue to remind us that we are called to His ministry and that we should be doing this or that....we have great friends with hearts of Gold who want to see us working in His church and earning monies for what we have had the privilege of education and experience to do -- We have wonderful friends who want to see us succeed in every aspect of ministry --reach the multitudes, lost and broken families, win Winchester and Indiana back into His family; and great friends in the churches who desperately need leadership help to help them take their churches to the next level. Honestly -- right now, though, I am not sure that is what He wants me (or us) to do. I am not even sure He wants me to DO anything.
Lately, I am overwhelmed with a sense of peace. A peace that only comes with enjoying the presence of my Lord with me wherever I am. A peace that sometime while I was in the midst of DOING ministry I lost and only have recently recovered it in the last two years. In the midst of striving to DO and BE things that "man" needed and wanted, I lost the enjoyment of being present in Him, and fulfilling His dreams for me and my family -- and ultimately the desires of our hearts. This was my fault completely, a fault of my driven type A personality -- driven by leadership and goals, driven by status and achievement, driven by success and failure - and by acceptance and recognition. All in themselves, are not wrong. All in themselves without our Lord in the center, is sin. It is a wonder this world has the stress related illnesses it battles with, that I battle with, the syndromes and phobias and anxieties of this day. Peace. A word that this world knows little about -- but needs more than anything.
So tonight, I conclude in my thoughts, that I will no longer strive to Do -- I only want to continue to BE His Love in this city, in this place and minister to those who He brings in our path. To Be of help and of courage, to BElong to Him and out of the overflowing of our joy, splash a little along to those who need a little extra. Lord, help me do this. You know my personality is not of easy rest...but yours is of Peace. Praise your Holy Name today!

Mad-dash Monday

2008-10-20T18:37:00.000-07:00

Once again, the wake up call from Cooper came this morning at 4:30 am with the heel of his foot hitting me straight in the forehead. Good morning, Cooper! After carrying him back to bed, realizing he snuck in under the radar (no telling how long he had been there!) I tried to go back to sleep - to no avail. Images of the first 5 chapters of the book I read still dancing around my thick skull. I already dreamed several dreams regarding the content and am convinced I will never let my kids out of my arms reach again. Friends had said that the first five chapters of "The Shack" were hard to read -- but they didn't say the images would stay with you even in your worst dreams. Frankly, it was easy to read...just has been hard to digest and come to grips with the pain the main character faces. If you haven't read it, they say it is an amazing book...I can't yet recommend it, since I hate the first five chapters already -- but I am sure it gets better than the imagery of pure evil I have in my mind! AND those who have recommended it do not have young children any longer to worry about or haven't yet.
Then with a little princess rushing the household to get to preschool early so she can be the first and only girl to pick out the "Cinderella books complete with dress up costume" book bag to take home, she refused to do her hair and waited for the rest of us in the cold, dark van for at least 15 minutes! The day ended better with a clean house, a great conversation with a friend and kids going to bed with full tummies and early! ahhhh...peace.
Oh - but then there's Eric..."Itchy Eric" as I call him these days! I better lather him down with poison sumac scrub and send him to bed. HE GETS HIS SHOTS TOMORROW!! praise the Lord! I think sometimes he is a bigger baby than my babies! :) But, ahhh...I love him so!
So --- spiritual insight today? The Lord has been close. No, closer than that. He has been giving me a sense of peace all day. As I watch my children sleep so soundly -- not a care in the world, unaware of the last load of laundry, Stock market, presidential race, and the bills that we still need to pay this week.... I too know, I have this same joy - peace that can't be understood by all, but given as a gift to those who know my Jesus. My precious Jesus. Good night friends, Peace be with you.

Clean vs. Dirty

2008-10-18T18:55:00.000-07:00

Today I had the privilege of working alongside friends in painting and cleaning a kitchen and Bathroom. The simple everyday kind of things we do to help friends we care about and enjoy their company at the same time. The kids (and I include daddy Eric in this as well!) Had the best time playing with the baby bunnies, playing ball, playing with fire and the grill as well as learning the tricks of the trade of Potato Launchers. (Yes, I did say Potato launchers -- loud but fun!)

While cleaning and such, I was able to take the time to ponder -- Is this really clean??? Have you ever cleaned something and then asked yourself...."should I clean this again? How do I know it is really clean?" Well, my philosophical mind does. Is it clean because the chemical bottle I just used says it is 99.9% bacterial free once I use it?? And what happens if I miss that .01%? Won't that still make a stink of things? -- I can just see those Oprah and Dr. Phil ladies coming to the house and finding the .01% of dirt that will make us all sick and eventually kill us dead! Is it clean because it is back to its original color? Is it clean when it squeaks? Is it clean when it smells clean? And what does clean really smell like? I am sure it wasn't that chemical stuff I used in the bathtub tonight! YUCK! I can hear it now..."ooohhhh..don't you smell like 'the works'!!" Someone else might say..."You are Squeaky clean??...here let me check..!" No thanks!

I am thankful for one thing tonight. That in despite of my O.C.D. tendencies, when the Lord tells us we are clean, we can be assured we are 100% clean -- without spot or wrinkle! When we go to him and admit our sins -- admit how dirty we actually are to Him and to ourselves...It is His precious gift of Grace that washes over us, cleaning us from all sin and shame. It is then that the world will have His sweet fragrance to fill up every room that we enter together. He is so good to us! What a privilege to serve such a wonderful Lord!

Getting the itch

2008-10-17T12:17:00.000-07:00

Today it really hit! After clearing yet another tree from my brother-in-laws property, my husband and I both awoke last night to severe itching on almost every part of our anatomy! All over my face, arms and neck. He got it worse! All over his face, front and back of his neck, arms and legs! His eyes are almost swollen shut with the amount of poison "whatever" it is that has decided to invade our household. Thankfully, our doctor friends at the hospital tell us it isn't contagious --- that would be all I need to pass it on to my two preschool children! We have now prescriptions and creams to relieve the itch and to dry up the rash.

Having this itch however, gave me reason to do some evaluation. (not that I never NEED a reason!). What is it that is in our hearts that gets our attention by constantly reminding us of it's existence and being persistent for attention? For me, it is the constant need to scratch the itch of writing. I want to write, to let my thoughts and feeling flow out of my mind onto the papers at be, however something always sooths that itch but never takes care of the initial passion. Until now. I have been nervous and even slightly rebellious to our Lord, by putting it off -- and ignoring the itch through excuses of time, talent and family. Now -- it has grown so large, and the Lord has given me the time, and family I need...and those who read this will also note if I have the talent or not! -- but none of that really matters to him. It just matters that I scratch the itch and try -- give it a good go, my best ---and that is all that it takes to honor and glorify Him who gave me this "affliction" as I, sadly, sometimes refer to it. I always feel blessed when I write, always feel loved and always feel relieved. Is something itching at your heart and soul? Find relief and just try! But beware, the more you scratch....the more it will itch!
Living in Him again today,
Amanda

2008-10-15T12:57:00.000-07:00

WOW! I Can't believe that I actually was able to find a way to share my thoughts and experiences as a mom - and wife - and follower of our Lord Jesus! And even more suprised if people read it!! I actually found it, and did it even without the aid of a high teach specialist!
I hope you enjoy my meanderings and mispellings! :)

The Simple Things

2008-10-15T12:52:00.000-07:00

WOW! I did it. How could have guess I figured out how to create a way to continually praise the Lord for the Simple things in my life he has Given me! AND I could do it without any high tech speicalist to aid in my adventure! I hope you enjoy these pages as you read it and begin to understand who I and my family are in relationship to our Lord and Savior Jesus!