I GIVE UP!

My two little ones were in the playroom today after they were charged with the task of cleaning it up. They do know how to destroy a room in a matter of minutes and after a week of several snow days, it was a disaster! I was in the middle of my Scripture meditation for the day and prayer time -- and I heard "I Can't Do this"! followed by a tearful little boy running to my lap, obviously overwhelmed by the daunting task that lay ahead of him and he looks at me and says "Mommy I Give Up"!

Have you ever had a day like that? A week like that? A year like that? Well, I am in the middle of a life like that it seems today -- and I want to run as far and as fast as I can in the other direction in which the Lord is asking me to go. Overwhelmed by the life of being an understanding and encouraging wife, the life of being a present and loving mother, the life of being the ever faithful pastor, and the life of being the obedient follower of Jesus. It is daunting at times. Tiring. Draining and frankly overwhelming when I look at the mess of it all. And my personality weakness is to run and give up. I want to run to the top of the highest mountain and yell -- I GIVE UP!

If you know me, you know that I trust and respect the Lord and his direction for my life. I do. And it is in these moments of life that it seems that people around you either don't know what to say to help so don't say anything which leaves a lonely feeling deep in your heart for true community-- and then there are the irritations of those who don't really know the scriptures using it to preach at you -- and those who use the cliche's and tend to then get it wrong in the process.

It is moments like these, in the quiet of the night, in the deepest part of your being that you discover how strong or weak your love for Christ really is. My son, could have just chosen to let his sister do all the work (not that she would have let him get away with it!). He could have chosen to ignore the task and play -- Mommy was busy with other things and not really watching him. He could have gotten mad, stormed out of the room and refused the task, make life for the family difficult and stay in time out or do push ups -- as our discipline tactics are in place. But he didn't. Feeling the weight of his responsibility to obey with his strong desire to please his mommy, he made a choice to follow through -- at 5 years old, made the conscious choice to try the task at hand. To me, his mother, that is love. That is deep commitment. (You should have seen the room!). And knowing that it was a task beyond his little ability to do himself, ran...not the other direction...but right into my arms and cried...I give up! To which I gladly comforted him and directed him through the task --- with a result of a very confident and proud little boy at his, his sister's and his mommy's accomplishment -- one very clean play room.

This is where i am today... at the cross roads.... to which direction do I run? Life is full of these moments. Right now, I lay my confidence in Christ, who knows my desire to please Him. Who knows the weight of the responsibility of being an understanding and encouraging wife, a present and loving mother, a faithful pastor who loves her church and a little girl in the arms of her father...giving up control...asking for help...as only He can give.

My prayer for you, is that you too find this peace in giving it up. For truth is, He doesn't want us to go about this life of ours without Him by our side, giving direction and helping us all the way. He will never leave us or forsake us....will be with us to the ends of the earth. Now, that is one heck of a valentines day present.